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Nightmare, March 19, 2009   
02:46pm 19/03/2009
 
mood: blank
music: My dads boyfriend- CRACK W.A.R.
Had a really weird dream where I was on a game show hosted by lucifer.


some of the weird signals and words that popped up in my mind during the whole thing:
Ins-
Eraf-
Biarch-
Sigmatus-


From what I remember the first portion of the game show gave contestants a rock, asking them to break their nose in impact before moving on to the next round.

Next I remember climbing up a snow mountain.

I remember most clearly the last game before I woke up, where the contestants remaining were locked in a small dark kitchen with one frosted window. The bottom of the room was covered in sewage. I went up to the window hastily and asked if I can leave, and he said "If thats what you want". My fear interjected me from doing so..
I knew that something was going to happen. It smelled so potently of fermented shit and urine, and I proposed the fact that this was like the sewers in russia where street children hid out and sniffed glue, and lucifer agreed that thats what he had in mind when he constructed this room.

In fear of what was coming next I propped myself wedged with my feet on one wall and my hands on a kitchen cabinet, suspended in air. I could see Lucifer slightly, though I knew he could see me fully because he had the face of a bat, and most likely the eyes too. He slowly creeped up to me, pulled me down, and told me that hanging in the air wouldnt help me.

I stood in caution in the sewage, still fucked up over the pure smell of shit. (I can still smell it even being awake from the dream).

I dont remember what happened after that but after that..officially weirdest dream of my LIFE..		  
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$$$$   
11:19pm 27/06/2008
 
music: My moon my man- boys noize remix (obviously the original is so bad, die fiest)
I need a different addiction.. maybe I'll take up gum chewing or axe murdering.

Nothing new really the past week has been slow, hanging out with people for intervals between 1-2 hours. I just realized that starting Monday I'm going to have to meet new friends Something I HATE doing. Then again everyone else is going to be in the same predicament so its not like I'm alone. I'll just wear my gold boots, since they're a conversation piece.
I also realized that all my friends are going away to places and when I'm at home on the weekends I'm going to be alone. Jonet is going away to Ithica for a cool photography program, Elaines going to Colorado, and everyone else is just gone..

So its either going to be a very lovely and exciting summer filled with new friends (i hope) and adventure, or an extremely lonely one spent at home.

So I also realized that no one reads this thing, and I can pretty much say whatever I want about whoever I want at any time. I mean thats the point of a journal right? wait maybe that's a diary. wait but aren't diaries for girls? whatever. Well doug had a journal. ANYWAY.

I also realized that I'm addicted to pokemon Diamond. And even though I know you're not reading this because you don't exist, will you battle me? My pokemon are level 50-60 and I'm pretty decent. also I need a pokemon buddy because I want to evolve my machoke into a machamp and thats only possible by trading it. bah.


I need to bury up some new inspiration for pieces.

BLAH. I hate this.

OH I also realized that I need to find an older friend (60-90 years old). to so maybe I'll compensate now.


Anyone need a friend? Even though you're imaginary and all...		  
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In your face.   
11:49pm 07/02/2008
 
music: The immaculate collection
I'm an uncut dick; Awkward, quaint, shielded from the world.
I'm the ingrown hair you can't get rid of around your clit.; Stubborn, Repulsive.
I'm your unwanted pregnancy, your HIV, your crabs.
I just can't get any better than this.
I'm the ovarian cyst burrowed and hiding.
Love me, most likely hate me. I'm here.
You can't get rid of me, but maybe, just take me the way I am.
Call me crazy, but I'm the extra chromosome, I'm the small dick, the dick that's too big.
I'm the disgusting yellow discharge, the burning urine.
I'm the symptom.
But I'm also the cure if you just give me a chance..		  
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ROX   
09:09pm 24/09/2007
 
music: hunting for withces
My mother, an igneous rock.
Spontaneously forming layers of pleasure.

My father was the grain.
Although you couldn't hear him,
The night was perceptive to his pronunciation.

A DESERT I SAY. A DESERT OF SEDIMENTARY STATURE AND POISED PEWTER.
Asphalt as far as the eye can see.

From her womb I was metamorphic.
A mound of slate along my parents side.

You said you've got rocks hanging from your neck.
Well I've got rocks hanging from my dignity.		  
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Desert   
03:41pm 11/09/2007
 
music: none shall pass
And I hate
The prolonging of the flapering pages when its time to turn

And I hate
The Organic shapes and numbers that accompany my journey

And I hate
The desert of tiles, A cascade of asphault and sedimentary rock.

And I hate
The cork, the lead, the wood, the grain.		  
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The body of christ   
10:59pm 02/09/2007
  (FYI I'm son las vampires)


22:53] SCISSORFUNCTION: if you were offered human flesh
[22:53] SCISSORFUNCTION: like cooked
[22:53] SCISSORFUNCTION: would you try it?
[22:54] Son Las Vampires: lmao naw das too freeky for me
[22:54] SCISSORFUNCTION: awww you suck
[22:54] SCISSORFUNCTION: im seriously hoping i get the chance to one day
[22:56] Son Las Vampires: ill donate my body to be cooked when i die
[22:56] SCISSORFUNCTION: to me??
[22:57] Son Las Vampires: to all my friends
[22:57] SCISSORFUNCTION: no fuck them
[22:57] Son Las Vampires: kind of like a
[22:57] Son Las Vampires: here is my body here is my blood sort of deal
[22:57] SCISSORFUNCTION: thats pretty rad
[22:57] Son Las Vampires: ahaha
[22:57] SCISSORFUNCTION: hahaha
[22:58] Son Las Vampires: i kind of wanna do it
[22:58] Son Las Vampires: but i dont know who would wanna eat me when i'm all old
[22:58] SCISSORFUNCTION: yesa i dunno
[22:58] SCISSORFUNCTION: i'd want to eat you now because your all young and what not
[22:58] Son Las Vampires: what if i just off myself by the time i'm 30
[22:58] Son Las Vampires: if i'm not dead by then anyway		  
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An interesting conversatoin about transitive verbs.   
07:44pm 10/08/2007
 
mood: amused
music: Nineteen- tegan and sara
19:38] Son Las Vampires: well technically addicting wouldnt be correct there anyway
[19:38] Son Las Vampires: because
[19:38] Son Las Vampires: its a transitive verb
[19:38] Son Las Vampires: so it would be used in the sense like...
[19:38] Son Las Vampires: "his scent was addicting me to his table"
[19:38] Son Las Vampires: or something along those lines
[19:39] Son Las Vampires: addictive isnt an adj
[19:39] SCISSORFUNCTION: well i think it would be more proper to use a different word then addict allllll together
[19:39] Son Las Vampires: so you're right
[19:39] Son Las Vampires: you couldnt say
[19:39] Son Las Vampires: yeah well in that situation
[19:39] Son Las Vampires: i'd obviously use
[19:39] Son Las Vampires: aluring
[19:39] Son Las Vampires: or enticing
[19:39] SCISSORFUNCTION: exactly
[19:39] Son Las Vampires: but thats just slutty old me
[19:39] SCISSORFUNCTION: lmao
[19:39] Son Las Vampires: or maby even
[19:39] Son Las Vampires: provolking
[19:40] Son Las Vampires: that might be a bit too slutty though
[19:40] Son Las Vampires: his scent was so provolking i just had to have him
[19:40] Son Las Vampires: i just had to
[19:41] Son Las Vampires: it was probaly givenchy, or yves saint laurent, mixed with the bitter but lingering taste of his perfectly varnished skin
[19:41] SCISSORFUNCTION: XD
[19:41] Son Las Vampires: i just couldnt turn away
[19:41] SCISSORFUNCTION: slutbag
[19:41] Son Las Vampires: and then
[19:42] Son Las Vampires: i asked him
[19:42] Son Las Vampires: if i could smell his neck
[19:42] Son Las Vampires: and he smacked me
[19:42] Son Las Vampires: and thats when i decided to leave my aunt Murtles dinner gala
[19:42] Son Las Vampires: I dont talk about that much anymore..
[19:42] SCISSORFUNCTION: shut up
[19:42] Son Las Vampires: this is a true story i hope you know
[19:43] SCISSORFUNCTION: ew
[19:43] Son Las Vampires: and if you wondering.
[19:44] Son Las Vampires: I did have him =).
[19:44] Son Las Vampires: BAB1 GURL ALWAYZ G3TZ WUT SHE WANTZ.









for the record it wasn't a true story, sorry for lying erik.		  
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him, and Him.   
07:05pm 10/08/2007
 
mood: anxious
music: Dirty Dirt wit u.
Well, I don't know.
I have a few thoughts I'd like to put down.

First and foremost, I have oficially decided that the ugliest part of the day, is around 4:45-5:30 in the morning, when things are so horribly dreary and the sun makes its opening statment, conquering the moon.


well, I don't know about that.
Well I told him that I missed the feeling of skin.
I told him about Him. I told him what He was like. I told him that I really missed the feeling of skin since He left me, but I don't think he really understood.

But the fact of the matter is. I don't think any he will be able to replace Him for quite a while, because after thinking too hard I realized that I was finally falling in with Him, perhaps. Well, the ghost of Him, anyway..



You can only really...smell..
flesh.		  
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Stubble.   
01:53pm 07/08/2007
 
mood: disappointed
music: The gentle waves- falling from grace
Well i've already pasted 2 parts of this one, but I finally completed it, so here it is.




My Garden: A paradise
My Bathroom: A paradise.

My eyelashes resemble venus flytraps.
My mouth transforms sound into stimulus and response.

My Bathroom: A darkroom
My Bedroom : A darkroom

I will continue to lye in overexposure.

Between the drunken slurs and chemical reactions
I dispensed my flesh to the neo-apostles

Words from my outlet will be misconstrued
But bodies will writhe and plead for an apology.

He skipped a rock, and it tore my paper thin membrane
My sanctuary set in flames, my stubble shaven off.

She spoke,
He spoke,
They spoke,

I will speak, but only half past my welcome		  
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A letter to no-name.   
11:31pm 06/08/2007
 
music: MIAMI HORROR
Characteristic flaws flow freely from her spewer.
And until I have nothing to ofer and you linger.
I'll know you're sorry.

A fool am I, For leaving you my keys.
A fool am I, For generously offering my shelter.
A fool am I, For entrusting you with the life some of my closest family.

Forgive thee father, I have sinned.		  
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My Kitchen.   
03:46am 30/07/2007
  My Garden: A paradise
My Bathroom: A paradise.

My eyelashes resemble venus flytraps.

My mouth transforms sound into stimulus and response.		  
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Vacation.   
03:35am 30/07/2007
  Some memorable things from my vacation.


:

We rode ATV's around the beaches of Dominican republic.

We visitited the richest (my aunt nancida) and the poorest (my cousin adismendi).

We threw candy at the locals.

We discovered that me and my cousins have large amounts of land left to us which right now are worth more than 200 million, and the price is going up.

We climbed waterfalls with the brits.

We watched miami from 2 billion feet up. The city looks like a giant hard-drive.

We got english-dominican ciggarettes for less than a dollar, 3 times.

We missed his friends.

We missed Anthony.

We looked foward to coming home to a beautifully kept home.


We were dissapointed.



























Pictures coming soon.		  
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/A WORD FROM DA FAMUX JEFREE S*Rs   
12:13am 14/07/2007
  Every breath I tak is five thousand hits and life is about to overload. I need someone who will hold my hand right before the Botox needle goes into my forehead. I want fake love and pretend feelings. I want nervous glances before the connection. I want to be able to bore a hole through your head and for you to hold it. I want that intensity without words, for a minute or for a day from across the table at one another. I want it to be filled to the brim of anything, be it contempt, or love or jealousy or devotion. I want it so clear and strong and passionate that you wouldn't even have to stretch the chords we call vocals. No, you listen because there's nothing to say. I want you to shut the fuck up and look at me. I don't want to make friends with people that attempt to catch my attention by staring or glancing. I don't want to make friends with people that sit next to me or near me and wait for me to say something. I don't want to make friends with people that keep showing up at my job in hopes some connectiing moment will make a miracle of itself. I dont want to make friends with people that say"I like your style/hair/hat/jacket/eyebrows" and then don't have anything else lined up. I dont have anything else lined up. I dont want to make friends with people that talk to me out of the blue. I want someone to walk up next to me and keep walking as if we know one another and we started together from point a and plan to continue to point b I want someone who keeps going no matter how far I go keeping up and not questioning or asking where. I want someone who understands that silene in verbality is golden because smalltalk is filler and shit and neither of us cared anway.








I want someone who can just walk because before you speak you know nothing of a person more than their physicalities. How they carry themselves, the look on their face, the way they stepskipstumble and STOP. How they cross a street with traffic near and how they get through a crowd. If they look both ways. If they breathe through their mouth or their nose. The things you learn later when the friend or person mattered because by then we were past all your me me me. I'll listen just so I can talk because by then you cared because you were comfortable without talking. I want that first and all the rest after because I dont want to know your life and all its little details until i am comfortable, not the other way around. It should always be that way.



Too bad no one does that.		  
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Safelight   
10:54pm 13/07/2007
 
mood: indifferent
music: wo qui non coin
My Bathroom: A darkroom
My Bedroom : A darkroom
I will continue to lye in overexposure.		  
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P.S.   
12:34am 03/07/2007
  How does tye dye take to skin?
Or skin take to tye dye.

I wanna make you something beautiful.		  
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Sleep alone   
12:20am 03/07/2007
 
mood: cranky
music: JUSTICE
tonight I sleep alone, and i don't mind it one bit;
the last 5 nights, i spent at your girlfriends apartment. i'd like to purchase an apartment of my own, but you'd burn it to the ground.

Tonight I sleep alone, and I don't mind it; The sweat from your sisters face stained my nice chiffon bedspread.

Tonight I Sleep Alone, And I Don't Mind It; Shuffling Through Your 5 Month Issue Of Vogue, Criticizing The Way You Bite Your Lip Between Every Sentence.

TONIGHT I SLEEP ALONE, AND I DON'T MIND IT;
I ALWAYS WANTED AN APARTMENT OF MY OWN, SO I COULD SMELL WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO SLEEP ALONE. IF MY BODY WAS A HOME, YOU'D BE UNWELCOME, AND MY LUNCHEON GUESTS WOULD ARRIVE 3 HOURS LATE.


..


I'm gonna fix you a nice cup of coffee I swear,
I won't do it bad, like they do at the deli down the street, but I'll try my best so don't have high expectations		  
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ZA-VEE-EY?   
05:32pm 26/06/2007
 
music: MONDO BRAIN
Lions and scopions arn't cut out to play.
But lets not let the stars get in between.


I made a song today -

www.myspace.com/mondobrainmusic

ELECTROENCE		  
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Creeper   
02:32pm 26/06/2007
 
music: catherine ferroyer
I L1k3 2 Kreep PpL out. 1M a CR33P3R. s0 W1tH Ur P3rm1ss10n, i'D lyke 2 kr33p YOU out.





I'm a MOODY MOODY trail of digits & an Economical disasterpiece. Hail, Human body system.		  
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CINQUAIN   
05:20pm 24/06/2007
 
mood: universe.
music: absence
UNIVERSE
Jealous, Bare.
Cut, Cut, Cut.
Something isn't natural.
Alone.		  
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north.   
05:12pm 24/06/2007
 
mood: Pinky
music: Green Birds
I've been traveling since way back when,
But I've been to the south, and its nothing to die for.

I've been called an only child,
But I lit my sisters hair on fire in 98.

I've been told to skin myself alive,
But I don't know how far alive will get me, anyway.

And I've been told of the south, way down south.
I'm not impressed with your lineage.		  
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